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Post by althea on Sept 25, 2020 18:06:11 GMT
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in good mood, don’t discuss your problems, no tv serials, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels, Do this for 1 year & he will be ok. On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ? Wife:- .No chance for you to survive .
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Post by rondetto on Sept 25, 2020 18:06:21 GMT
I am not a believer in seances, but I went to one just to see what they are like. The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose. You can probably guess the rest. I was arrested for striking a happy medium.
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Post by althea on Sept 25, 2020 18:06:57 GMT
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling" The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call you Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
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Post by althea on Sept 25, 2020 18:07:27 GMT
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip. All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
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Post by aubrey on Sept 26, 2020 9:08:34 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Sept 26, 2020 11:27:14 GMT
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting barrister attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand pounds to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand pounds to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:36:58 GMT
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:37:37 GMT
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:38:44 GMT
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:39:23 GMT
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:48:58 GMT
I'm going to stay up on New Year's Eve this year. Not to see the New Year in, but to make sure this one leaves.
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:50:32 GMT
At the supermarket there was a big X for me to stand on................ I've seen too many Road Runner cartoons to fall for that one.
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:51:58 GMT
Keep in mind, that during a pandemic, no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit you.
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:52:46 GMT
The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing themselves from each other.
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Post by althea on Sept 26, 2020 14:54:01 GMT
If I'd only know in March, it would be my last time in a restaurant, I'd have ordered dessert.
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