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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:21:12 GMT
I like fog - I'd like to keep some in the house, but every time I've tried to catch some, I've mist.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:22:25 GMT
Getting a new set of teeth at 60 would be more useful than at age 6.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:26:39 GMT
Pornography gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:29:43 GMT
I will rise, but shine is not in my repertoire.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:31:44 GMT
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:32:52 GMT
Pick your battles. Nope - that's too many battles. Put some battles back......
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:33:38 GMT
I invented a new word today - plagiarism.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:35:03 GMT
Thank you for contacting the Abyss. Your scream is very important to us.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:35:45 GMT
We all know mirrors don't lie. I'm just grateful they don't laugh.
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Post by althea on Aug 18, 2024 16:37:06 GMT
Reached the age when I can't tell if I've sustained an injury, or that's just how I am now.
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Post by lily on Aug 20, 2024 7:39:06 GMT
She new she was getting old when she tried to get the wrinkles out of her stockings before remembering she wasn't wearing any Since you posted this, I've been checking my feet every day! Not yet!
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Post by rikiiboy on Aug 21, 2024 8:47:25 GMT
She new she was getting old when she tried to get the wrinkles out of her stockings before remembering she wasn't wearing any Since you posted this, I've been checking my feet every day! Not yet! I can't see my feet as they are enclosed in compression socks.
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Post by rondetto on Aug 21, 2024 12:24:25 GMT
I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.
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A farmer mate of mine sowed a field with unlabelled seed.
We'll see what crops up.
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I’ve just agreed to do some medical trials.
I was told Germs and conditions apply.
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My boss calls me "The Computer" nothing to do with my intelligence.
I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
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I was born with my head the wrong way round and was told there was nothing to look forward to.
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Every one in my town wears woolen jumpers that are a size too small.
We're a very tight knit community.
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I love waiters and waitresses .. they bring a lot to the table.
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I was once served haggis as an inflight meal.
Normally I'll eat anything but that was just plane offal.
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ME: "How did your driving test go?"
WIFE: "He failed me."
ME: "What did he pull you up on?"
WIFE: "A rope. The car's still in the river."
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Doctor told me I have Monkey pox symptoms
I'll swing by his practice tomorrow.
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Due to an unfortunate spelling error when booking my holiday, l'm now looking forward to a week on the Norfolk B roads.
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Post by lily on Aug 21, 2024 14:16:30 GMT
Since you posted this, I've been checking my feet every day! Not yet! I can't see my feet as they are enclosed in compression socks. Actually,I had to say "my legs"!
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Post by althea on Aug 21, 2024 15:24:42 GMT
Biologists have created immortal frogs by removing their vocal chords.
They can't croak.
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