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Post by althea on Jun 25, 2020 15:50:18 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 25, 2020 15:51:04 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 25, 2020 15:51:33 GMT
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Post by ARENA on Jun 25, 2020 17:47:17 GMT
Of all the jokes posted on Oldies, Althea, you come up with the best.
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Post by rondetto on Jun 25, 2020 17:56:03 GMT
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! " Blonde Two: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and we've got the top down! "
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Post by aubrey on Jun 25, 2020 19:41:56 GMT
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2020 22:08:04 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jun 26, 2020 10:15:31 GMT
Husband to counsellor: We were very happy for 22 years.
Counsellor: What happened?
Husband: We got married.
Counsellor, turning to wife: Do you agree with your husband's assessment of your marriage?
Wife: Yes, the only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Post by rondetto on Jun 26, 2020 13:35:01 GMT
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are, your honour," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "In that case, Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days."
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Post by althea on Jun 26, 2020 14:18:05 GMT
I was going to post a joke about Sodium , but then I thought... Na
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Post by althea on Jun 26, 2020 14:19:20 GMT
I injured myself yesterday measuring radio frequencies.
It still Hertz.......
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Post by althea on Jun 26, 2020 14:19:48 GMT
If I swallowed a lot of magnets, would that make me attractive or repulsive?
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Post by althea on Jun 26, 2020 14:20:30 GMT
My favourite word is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue...
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Post by rondetto on Jun 26, 2020 15:45:00 GMT
My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits into the dress she got married in.
I gave birth 0 times and I don't fit into my pants from 2 weeks ago?
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Post by rondetto on Jun 27, 2020 8:33:09 GMT
I've decided that as from next week I am going to dress as a different type of bread each day......
Roll on Monday!
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What did the hungry alien say when it landed on Earth?
Take me to your larder.
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What do you call a beehive without an exit
Unbelievable.
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I have just found out I am colour blind.
I was amazed, the diagnosis came right out of the green.
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