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Post by rondetto on Mar 27, 2017 15:13:15 GMT
Q: Why do women have orgasms during sex?
A: They always have to have something to moan about.
(only joking....honest)
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Post by rondetto on Mar 27, 2017 15:18:00 GMT
A big time Cheshire Barrister retires into the country to become a chicken farmer. He purchases a small farm, and orders 1500 chicks from the local feed store. About three weeks later, he orders 2000 more chicks from the feed store. After another three weeks, he orders 2500 more chicks.
The feed store owner says to the barrister, "Your chicken farm must really be growing."
The man replies: "No its not growing too well, I am either planting them too deep or too far apart."
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Post by aubrey on Mar 27, 2017 17:24:54 GMT
I have a couple which are a little too raunchy for some sites. Maybe if you had a column for X rated stuff I would post some because if people didn't want to see that then they don't have to look. But with respect I won't post anything too rude or any bad language. There is a joke in Gershon Legman's No Laughing Matter: Rational of the Dirty Joke Series II (the "dirty" dirty jokes, Series I being the "Clean" dirty jokes) that he introduces as the sickest joke he knows (or something like that), and it is really sick - yes, maybe the sickest I know as well - at least, I can't think of a sicker. Anyway, the point of this is: There is a book by Iona Opie (author with her husband Peter of The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren, Children's Games, etc) called The People in the Playground, which is a diary of the year she spent standing in a primary school playground during breaks, and watching and listening to what the children did. And a 9 or maybe 10 year old girl - I think it was a girl - told her exactly the same joke. Does anyone want to hear it? Well, it seems that this bloke went to a brothel..... |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2017 21:14:21 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Mar 28, 2017 11:00:35 GMT
David: "My wife beats me, doctor."
Doctor: "Oh dear. How often?"
David: "Every time we play Scrabble!"
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Post by rondetto on Mar 28, 2017 13:34:53 GMT
The young couple invited their aged vicar for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mum, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
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Post by althea on Mar 28, 2017 15:32:26 GMT
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
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Post by althea on Mar 28, 2017 15:33:04 GMT
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
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Post by althea on Mar 28, 2017 15:41:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2017 21:05:35 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Mar 29, 2017 8:53:41 GMT
A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.
He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago."Mummy, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What do you have there?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
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Post by althea on Mar 29, 2017 9:26:25 GMT
ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOUR
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead..
COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.
INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.
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Post by althea on Mar 29, 2017 9:27:05 GMT
I love number six in that list.
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Post by rondetto on Mar 29, 2017 12:15:43 GMT
Two Irishmen are sitting in a small town bar, where Mick bragged to Sean, "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except of course, me mother and me sister."
"Well," Sean replied, "Ain't that great, between you and me we've had them all."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2017 20:20:21 GMT
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