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Post by honeybear on Jan 17, 2020 8:34:49 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jan 17, 2020 10:01:05 GMT
The latest poll taken by the office of the Mayor of Liverpool asked whether people who live in Merseyside think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
30% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
70% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio. "
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Post by rondetto on Jan 17, 2020 11:32:09 GMT
Two old men are sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. The first one asks, “Have you read Marx?”
The other one replies, “Yes. I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”
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Post by rondetto on Jan 17, 2020 13:07:45 GMT
My wife and I hate doing puzzles, 50 years married and never a crossword.
My wife dresses to kill, mind you she cooks the same way.
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Post by rondetto on Jan 17, 2020 15:34:48 GMT
A young woman goes to her doctor and finds out that she is pregnant.
She says, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony, and we only practice sex with our eyes."
The doctor replies, "Well Someone in your colony must be cockeyed."
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Post by rondetto on Jan 18, 2020 15:17:45 GMT
There's a nudist convention in our town next week.
I might go If I've got nothing on.
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Post by althea on Jan 18, 2020 17:00:11 GMT
I found a knife that lets me slice four loaves at once. I'm so lucky to have found a four loaf clever.
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Post by althea on Jan 18, 2020 17:05:59 GMT
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Post by althea on Jan 18, 2020 17:06:33 GMT
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Post by althea on Jan 18, 2020 17:07:22 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jan 18, 2020 17:31:29 GMT
A Sunday School teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, he only had two worms?"
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Post by rondetto on Jan 19, 2020 8:31:44 GMT
I was walking down the high street today and I saw this man outside the post office, who had no toes, for some reason I didn't like the look of him, so I crossed over the road.
This played on my mind for the rest of the day, so I decided to confess to a friend about it, who said : "i wouldn't beat yourself up about it, you're probably lactose intolerant."
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Post by rondetto on Jan 19, 2020 11:20:14 GMT
Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he`d put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it was your own."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2020 3:49:11 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jan 20, 2020 9:57:02 GMT
A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig
. The criminal is so angry, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a common duck"
The judge says to the defence lawyer "If you don't silence your client he will be held in contempt."
The defence says "Yes Mallard"
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