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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2014 15:00:28 GMT
This must be the funniest thread, ever
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2014 10:14:44 GMT
This must be the funniest thread, ever My sense of humour, if I ever had one, has evaporated of late, so have a go yourself Gus. And welcome. |
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Post by ARENA on Jun 9, 2014 12:04:58 GMT
Dear Miss Grant
I have a very serious question for you. I think my wife is cheating on me. If I answer the phone, the caller hangs up.
She goes out a lot with her girlfriends. If I ask who they are, she just says, 'friends from work. you don't know them'.She always seems to get the same taxi home.
Last night I decided to hide behind the bushes and see who brought her home. Whilst waiting ,I noticed the Franlinomus Lalendum is shedding it's leaves. Is this normal in July?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2014 12:34:52 GMT
This must be the funniest thread, ever My sense of humour, if I ever had one, has evaporated of late, so have a go yourself Gus. And welcome. I'm afraid I am not capable of matching these masterpieces |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2014 14:22:46 GMT
Dear Mary Grant
I recently got married to a lovely girl and we discussed having a family before the wedding. We decided to wait perhaps five years until we were in the financial position to be able to afford to live on just my wage.
I went to an all boy’s school and was completely inexperienced sexually when we married. My wife knew all about that and it was not a problem. We are very happy and my inexperience never proved to be a problem. We had a great honeymoon!
Now after only a few months married my wife is pregnant and I simply can’t understand how this happened as I have been so careful. We had sex education lessons at school including birth control. They showed us how to use a condom and even demonstrated how to put one on with a cucumber.
What could have gone wrong? I have always used a fresh cucumber.
Baffled of Basingstoke.
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Post by scorp on Jun 9, 2014 15:34:40 GMT
Oh really, Baffled! I am astounded... Doctor Samuel Johnson said "It has been a common saying of physicians in England, that a cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing."
You should have used a carrot...
Mary
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2014 20:32:58 GMT
Dear Mary Grant
There is a sweet shop nearby and they sell the most delicous original toffees. I like these very much, and the old man who runs the shop has offered to give me one if I sit on his lap - he will take the wrapping off for me
He's really nice with white hair and whiskers, and always smiling at me - my friends say that he likes young girls
Do you think I should let him take the wrapper off and give me the toffee, he might not have washed his hands properly
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2014 9:42:13 GMT
Dear Miss X
I am sure that this gentleman is completely harmless, and only wants you to sit on his lap as his eyesight is failing.
However have a caution. Toffee can be very bad for your teeth. And if you are concerned about his personal hygiene that I suggest you let him take the wrapping off, but then take the toffee out of the opened wrapper yourself.
Mary G
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