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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2014 15:39:06 GMT
I thought I would see where this one runs as things are a wee bit slow. I will begin:
Dear Mary Grant
I have met this wonderful man who wants to marry me. My father is in prison for Arson, my younger brother is living off the immoral earnings of my mother and his sister and my older brother is the Conservative MP for Borchester.
I am due to visit my boyfriend in Wandsworth prison next Sunday.
Should I tell him about my older brother?
Worried of Wimbledon
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Post by scorp on Mar 21, 2014 8:08:45 GMT
Dear Worried
Look on the bright side - at least nobody in your family votes UKIP.
But I do worry, dear, about your boyfriend - Wandsworth isn't one of the nicer nicks - couldn't you have found someone in the Scrubs? So much more socially acceptable, being North of the River...
Sincerely Mary
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 8:53:43 GMT
Love it Scorp. You have got the idea.
Dear Mary Grant
Over Christmas I met a wonderful man, kind caring and so much fun. We really get on so well. Every time I am away from him I think about him.
Two weeks ago he suggested we had a little holiday, and I agreed. He showed me the brochures of a fabulous hotel in the South of France. It looks idyllic with a wonderful pool, a Jacuzzi a gym and an incredible menu. I agreed to go.
Yesterday I found the receipts on his dining room table and to my horror I find he has booked a double room, with of all things a double bed. I spoke to him about this and told him I was a bit shocked and all he did was put his arm round me, smile and say 'well, we can keep each other warm'
I am thinking of telling him even at this stage I cant go. What should I do? I am 78 and he is 82
Shocked of Sunbury
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Post by ARENA on Mar 21, 2014 9:01:41 GMT
Dear SOS
Why are you worried? Don't you realise that sex between older men can be very enjoyable indeed. Providing you are both continent, I see no problem.
PS - Do tell your paramour that his red suit, with the fur trimmings, will be a tad warm in Nice, at this time of year.
Bon chance Mary
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 11:58:45 GMT
This is starting to remind me of many years ago when my best friend and I decded to write a Mills and Boone book. He would write a bit and leave it on my desk and I would then continue and leave my offerings on his desk. It was full of horses and riding gear, Jaguars quickenedd breath and so on and very quickly becasme unpublishable! We laughed until we cried at times and had lots of car time to think about the next scene.
It was all in longhand and I lost my copy during a move. Sadly my friend Alex died a few years ago so the 'book' is no more, but I so wish I had it still.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 14:58:40 GMT
Dear Mary Grant,
Last year I went with a group of other girls on a Safari, and we had a fabulous time. We camped in the wild and it was a truly wonderful and memorable holiday. One night I had to get up and go to the loo, so slipped out of camp to be discrete.
Just as I was finishing essential business I was taken from behind by a gorilla. I was too shocked to tell the other girls at the time but did confide in one of them when we got back to England. I told her I felt awful and she advised I went straight to see my doctor.
But she does not understand why I feel so awful.
He has never written, does not phone and I am beginning to think I was just a one night stand.
what should I do?
Mandy from Maidstone.
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Post by ARENA on Mar 21, 2014 15:10:57 GMT
Dear Mandy
Are you sure that the piece of paper you gave him had your name and number on it?
You know how we can all make mistakes like that, when we've just come round , especially if we are a bit ,'Gorillas-in-the-mist', as Ms Fossey calls it. He may well have got the wrong message and thought you were the one being crappy!
The next movement is yours
Mary
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2014 10:57:58 GMT
Dear Mary Grant.
I have been married for four years and we have a dear little boy of two. We re thinking of a second child in the near future. My husband is kind and works hard and we are very happy.
Last year we added to the family with a really nice little Border Collie and life could not be better. My husband walks the dog before he goes to work and after he comes home I the evening.
Recently he has started walking the dog very late, sometimes well after midnight and he has told me that this means he can have a shorter walk in the mornings. Sometimes they are gone for quite a long time.
But I have a puzzle. Some mornings after they have been walking late I have noticed various items of women’s underwear discretely hidden in his desk downstairs. Some of it is very nice, but none of it is my size so I don’t think my husband has been late night shopping for presents for me.
Do you think I should mention this to my husband?
Concerned of Carshalton
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2014 11:32:22 GMT
Anyone else want to take a turn?
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Post by goldelox on Mar 24, 2014 13:27:09 GMT
Dear CoC
Perhaps your husband is having a brief affair!
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Post by scorp on Apr 2, 2014 7:03:26 GMT
Poor CoC!
It must be so embarrassing to have a kleptomaniac dog fixated on lingerie...
However does he reach up to the washing lines I wonder?
I should take the items and put them on display with a notice explaining what has happened so that the ladies can claim their lost property. They WILL be pleased...
M G
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Post by jimshoo on Apr 2, 2014 9:58:20 GMT
Dear Mary Grant
I am thinking of getting a giraffe as a pet. Do you think it is suitable for a single person living in a third floor flat?
Jim.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2014 10:05:10 GMT
Dear Mary Grant I am thinking of getting a giraffe as a pet. Do you think it is suitable for a single person living in a third floor flat? Jim. Jim. Go to your doctor immediately. MG
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Post by jimshoo on Apr 2, 2014 11:54:35 GMT
[quote source="/post/4152/thread" Jim. Go to your doctor immediately. MG[/quote] I did but he was no help. He keeps vultures.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2014 13:02:54 GMT
[quote source="/post/4152/thread" Jim. Go to your doctor immediately. MG I did but he was no help. He keeps vultures.[/quote] I think you are getting confused. that was your lawyer......
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