I will share this...

A bit of background. On another board a 'Verse for the day' was posted. The first couple of verses in italics are not mine, but in the end I thought it might amuse to re-write some of the stuff......


She heard a quick step coming over the moor,
And a merry voice which she had oft heard before
And ere she could speak a strong arm held her fast,
And a manly voice whispered, "I've come, love, at last,
Alice Lee stood awaiting her lover one night,
Her cheeks flushed and glowing, her eyes full of light,
She had placed a sweet rose 'mid her wild flowing hair;
No flower of the forest e'er looked half so fair,
As she did that night, as she stood by the door,
Of the cot where she dwelt by the side of the moor.



I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting like this,
But I know you'll forgive me, then give me a kiss."


Her tongue probed his mouth and her hand felt his buttocks
George she said softly please fondle my muttocks
At which he said Alice, please don’t think I’m shy
But Its pissing with rain - can we find somewhere dry

But fathers inside and you know how he preaches
And I ‘m sure he will spy you have stains on your breeches
His eyesight is failing so he might think tis just raining
But if he turns up the lamp it might need some explaining


Coom in George a voice said from inside the cot
Me eyesight is buggered but ‘t hearing is not
Coom sit by ‘t fire lad, park the arse on ‘t settle
Alice, do up thy bodice, and mak haste with ‘t kettle

With kettle on hob Alice stoked up the fire
Took off her bonnet and secured her attire
But as smoke filled the cot, father once again spoke
‘Either Alice has dropped one or cats pissed on ‘t coke’

Well father said George with a quizzical grin
You have offered me tea but I would prefer gin
Yes beer is quite good and so is malt whiskey
But gin I do find makes a man much more frisky

Well lad said her father in voice none too loud
They say in ‘t village thees quite well endowed
And I see by ‘t stains you can not really miss
Young Alice has given you more than a kiss

Well father said George I confess I have tried
Near every young lass in the county I’ve spied
With Alice I own I tried to break habits
But have to confess she’s as keen as a rabbit.


Now George said her father while Alice gets water
Pray voice your Intentions regarding my daughter
Well father said George, I will tread with some caution
But I fully intend to give her a portion.

Well George said her father, and I fear that this rankles
She has a terrible rash which has spread to her ankles
I know replied George I have the same blisters
I suspect that I got them from Alice’s Sisters