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Post by ARENA on Apr 18, 2023 9:12:10 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Apr 18, 2023 9:52:27 GMT
APARTMENT for RENT...
So a businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for £500. They did their thing,
and before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
Secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling
the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had
done, realising that the whole event had not been
worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for £250
and enclose the following typed note:
'Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for £250 for rent of your
apartment .. I am not sending the amount agreed upon
because when I rented the place, I was under the
Impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the cheque for £250 with the following note:
'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
Beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you
Know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of
Regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady! 😄
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Post by rondetto on Apr 18, 2023 15:45:36 GMT
A man crawls home from the pub one night, staggers upstairs and just has he is about to get into bed something grabs his leg. the man looks down and see somebody under the bed, "Who are you?" he asks,
"I am your guardian angel, I'm here to tell you to quit drinking smoking and sex," the man asks why, "Cos you will go to hell when you die else!"
The man agrees to give up all his vices, "I will return in 1 week to see how your getting on," says the guardian angel then vanishes.
1 week later the man is tapped on the shoulder, its the guardian angel again, well he asks, "How did you get on?"
The man replies, "I have quit smoking and drinking but I'm afraid I slipped a bit on the sex."
"Oh yeah?" says the angel, "How come?" The man tells him "Well i saw the mrs bending over the freezer and I just couldn't help myself sorry."
The guardian angel then replies "Oh they are not going to be happy with that up in heaven!"
"I bet not." says the man, "They weren't too happy in Tesco's either!!"
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