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Post by ARENA on Nov 29, 2019 9:36:44 GMT
Little naps can prevent one getting old......especially if you take them whilst driving.  |
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Post by jimmy20 on Nov 29, 2019 10:09:44 GMT
What is worse than ants in your pants Uncles
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Post by ARENA on Nov 30, 2019 10:05:39 GMT
I have the heart of a lion..........and a life-time ban from the zoo.
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Post by jimmy20 on Nov 30, 2019 10:51:12 GMT
A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.
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Post by themanwhoknewnothing on Dec 3, 2019 8:55:11 GMT
Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
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Post by ARENA on Dec 3, 2019 9:13:19 GMT
I have the body of a 20 year old............unfortunately I have stretched it all out of shape.
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Post by jimmy20 on Dec 3, 2019 10:45:10 GMT
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
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Post by honeybear on Dec 9, 2019 9:45:34 GMT
Why do you never see elephants hiding in palm trees?
Because they're very good at it.
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Post by ARENA on Dec 24, 2019 10:14:16 GMT
Q: What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea?
A: Bravefart.
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Post by althea on Jan 4, 2020 16:35:45 GMT
"Private Andrews, I didn’t see you in camouflage class today." "Thank you,sir."
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Post by althea on Jan 7, 2020 16:14:41 GMT
I used to live just a stone's throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.
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Post by caedmon ★★★ on Feb 20, 2020 23:25:12 GMT
Limerick: There was this woman called Gill - that once used a dynamite stick for a thrill - they found parts of her tits in China and bits of her vagina in Brazil.
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Post by althea on May 27, 2020 18:43:23 GMT
TOOTHACHE: the pain that drives you to extraction.
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Post by althea on May 27, 2020 18:43:53 GMT
DUST: mud with the juice squeezed out.
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Post by althea on May 27, 2020 18:44:27 GMT
TOMORROW: one of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
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