A is for arthritis, B is for bad back, C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight--can't read that top line. F is for fissures and fluid retention G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention-- and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches) H is high blood pressure I is for itches, and lots of incisions J is for joints, that now fail to flex L is for libido--what happened to sex? Wait! I forgot about K! K is for my knees that crack all the time (But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my Memory from time to time) N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu? Give me another pill and I'll be good as new! R is for reflux--one meal turns into two S is for sleepless nights, counting fears on how to pay my medical bills! T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears and the word 'terminal' also rings too near U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not) V is for vertigo, as life spins by W is worry, for pains yet unfound X is for X ray--and what one might find Y is for year (another one, I'm still alive). Z is for zest For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed, And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.