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Post by rondetto on Feb 5, 2019 17:54:34 GMT
In bed in the morning I stare at the ceiling,
Afraid to move, worried how am I feeling?
My joints feel stiff and barely alive,
Why am I like this at just forty-five?
I get up and move then start my day,
Using tactics I’ve learnt to keep pain at bay.
Move slowly avoiding buttons and things,
No huge success, just momentary wins?
The physical pain is just one part,
Mentally I struggle with a pain in my heart.
I have children who love to run and have fun,
But my turn with them never begun.
I watch other dads play, laugh and hide.
As I stand there isolated watching from the side.
Is my disease ruining their childhood?
Do they know I’d play, if only I could?
My joints hurt and my tendons are tight.
I am on medication to continue the fight.
“Stick with it the physical symptoms will pass”,
Yet it’s the game in my head that’s fragile like glass.
The drugs do one thing the arthritis another,
Morton’s Fork today like every other.
Some days I fear walking on the ice
But not being a dad is the heaviest price.
Most days I feel are a repeat or a loop,
However, some days I wake I mentally re-group
It’s not every day I feel down and in pain,
On the best days I feel my life once again.
It is not that I don’t hurt or suddenly feel better,
A change in pain or less damp weather.
Sometime I see what I have, I feel alive,
Two beautiful children to watch grow and thrive
Today I am strong; today I can fight this,
Today is a good day, I’m fighting Arthritis.
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