Gobal Warming and Garden Seats

Encouraged by he dire predictions of Global Warming creating a southern Mediterranean climate in the Uk, about 6 years ago I went out and bought a garden dining suite of a table and 6 chairs, elegantly made in sort-of-wrought-iron and painted white
It looked lovely in my garden and we would occasionally dine al fresco alla Italiano in mellow summer evenings
I often pondered whether it was worth the effort as each autumn I would inspect it for rust, wire brush it with the electric drill and paint the stripped areas with an anti-rust paint. I would then take each item and store them in my overcrowded shed to wait out the winter until Spring re-appears when they are touched up with white paint.
Hard work, but maybe worth it, maybe not
Anyway this year WE HAVE NOT USED THE BLUDY THING ONCE because the summer has been so dreadful!
Global warming the right buttock of my arse!
(Did someone say that the weather is not the climate - what a stupid statement - of course it is the weather!)

To add to my sorrow a colony of immigrant moles is attacking my lawn creating random humps and hollows. No matter what regulation I introduce ( Jeyes Fluid poured down their tunnels) tho little foreign immigrant bastards just move to another part of my lawn

Mind you I have had a marvellous crop of tomatoes that are all green, taking up space in my mansion (that could be housing paying refugees)as they ripen

Chilis were a disaster - they are still growing as if they are in in Bludy Africa in an unseasonal cold snap!