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Post by ARENA on Oct 12, 2013 14:24:28 GMT
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Post by scorp on Oct 12, 2013 20:42:59 GMT
Your link isn't working - it chokes on the ':' to start with...
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Post by ARENA on Oct 13, 2013 8:42:22 GMT
Your right Scorp,it won't copy. So here is the gist of it.........
So..
You’ve retired from your working life and are about to receive your pension for the very first time. You are now an official retiree, right? No.
You don’t have the look. You still look like a working person. You don’t look pathetic, the kind of person everybody expects to die tomorrow. You probably don’t have the personality either. But don’t fret, I’m here to help you and the many other misguided souls just like you. With my patented, amazing OMGOAP©(oh my god old age pensioner) Ten Steps To Senility Program, you’ll soon be a hobbling, moaning, real live pensioner!.
So let’s get cracking! Dress To Depress
OAP fashion is in a world of it’s own. It has stayed the same year after year, starting in 1942. Starting with the feet, wear slippers at all times (including when outside and when your sleeping in bed.) Tartan ones are very good for this. Trousers should end at the shins and start at the armpits. This may hurt, but it’s all in the name of fashion. For the upper body, a battered old jacket is good. Tank-tops are stylish, but should also be old. Generally, the older the better. Hair colour should be grey/white if any. There is only one hat to be worn, and that is, of course, the Tweed Cap. This should also be old. Remember, old clothes, old personBe Annoying
This is the golden rule for the next few points, and in general, the whole guide. Now your retired, what will you do for fun? Bowling is just a load of balls and feeding the ducks is less than thrilling, so what? Well, turns out that frustrating others is incredibly good fun. So….. Take Your Time
Crossing the road? Take your time. Driving in the car? Take your time. In a queue? Take your time. Taking your time is easy, fun, and above all, Annoying. Sitting down and getting up can be done at a snails pace.
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Post by scorp on Oct 13, 2013 11:04:48 GMT
Take your time? I don't have any option - my fastest is glacial... The last sentence resonates - I am in the middle of an attack of lower back pain (
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Post by scorp on Oct 13, 2013 11:09:33 GMT
Take your time? I don't have any option - my fastest is glacial... The last sentence resonates - I am in the middle of an attack of lower back pain (bad enough that I had to cancel attendance at my Old School Reunion Lunch yesterday - and I had already paid for it!) and I would add the word 'only' before 'be done'. And I can't get my socks on, so the slippers are comme il faut alright. (Navy - not tartan, though. And with velcro fastening - £30 from Cosyfeet (adv.))
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Post by starlilolill on Oct 13, 2013 12:13:47 GMT
Talking of slippers, I bought a pair of stylish boots yesterday and then let myself down by buying a pair of sheepskin slippers - they are on as I type this and will still be on at bedtime!
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Post by ARENA on Oct 13, 2013 12:31:40 GMT
I got up yesterday, donned the dressing-gown and stayed in it till bedtime (a first!)
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Post by scorp on Oct 13, 2013 20:46:48 GMT
Oh I haven't reached such depths yet!
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Post by ARENA on Oct 15, 2013 9:18:47 GMT
The government are going to assist with old people's care (BBC news today) Sounds good till you read all the provisos. If you own your house you have to have less than 20k in assets .
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Post by starlilolill on Oct 15, 2013 10:49:15 GMT
Arena - we have all reached retirement age (I think!) and know that the powers that be will always win. Every government (no matter the hue) will always try to get as much out of us as possible. I believe Scotland are on the right track (I would say that) and should independence come we're on our way back! Even married to an Englishman we will still be on our way to the home country!
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Post by scorp on Oct 15, 2013 14:24:13 GMT
"And we'll all go riding on a Rainbow/To a new land far away..."
Huh!
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2013 14:41:45 GMT
The government are going to assist with old people's care (BBC news today) Sounds good till you read all the provisos. If you own your house you have to have less than 20k in assets . Indeed, the small print. Less than 23k, though whether that is cash in the bank or the value of assets such as your car is not so clear. And, you won't have to sell your house to pay for your care. Nope, they will do that and take the money for your care after you die. Fabulous. What the hell happened to cradle to grave! And here is a puzzle. if I am a multi millionaire I can go into an NHS hospital for both long or short term illness, entirely free, as it should be. but if I need a bit more than help when I get really old, then I pay a shedload of money for crap care. My solution will be one of two things. 1. They will not get me into care unless they section me. They can bloody well look after me at home. 2. In extremis I will go for a long walk in the hills with a good bottle of malt. I have heard that hypothermia is quite a good way to go.
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