Christmas Crackers

I changed my i-Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a bloke who is addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians in North America first? They had reservations.