Mahatma Gandhi as you know walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a-
Super-Calloused, Fragile Mystic, hexed by Halitosis.
One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra £50 in your pay packet that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.”
Have you guessed Which one of the three women got the job? Yes....the one with the biggest breasts.
This Earle of Oxford,[Edward de Vere] making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.
This same joke is in The Thousand Nights and One Night, and there is also a version of it at the back of the well-known "Eyeball Joke", and its variants.