New Job

Sent to me by my favoirite secretary!


A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He answers 'Yes - caffeine'

'Have you ever been in the services?'

'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, 'Yes ...a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.


Normal hours are from 8am to 2pm.

You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10am every day.'

The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8am to 2pm, why don't you want me to be here before 10am?' '


'This is a council job,' the interviewer says.

'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks, not really any point in you coming in for that.'