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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 13:18:52 GMT
I'm sorry ,I'll read that again..........
A correction from the Dunoon Observer -
"The old poof which started the fire at 7 Douglas Cottages as reported last week, referred to an item of furniture and not the owner."
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Post by scorp on Feb 24, 2014 13:34:30 GMT
Worthy of Jack de Manio! Mind you, the 'which' makes it obvious they weren't talking about a friend of Dorothy...
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 13:40:16 GMT
No, if it had been a spoof, they would have used, 'that'......
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 13:45:28 GMT
From a job applicant,,,,
"Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail."
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 13:58:27 GMT
I found these on the net...
"For Sale: 2000 pound wench".
"Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
"Try our herbal remedies. You can't get better."
"Mayoress receives solid silver brush and bomb set"
"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of this church. Children will be baptized at both ends."
"To avoid slipping in the bath, place a rubber mat on the bottom". - Paisley Daily Express
"Mike McGrew, deputy U.S. marshal in Oklahoma City has carried his son's first baby as a good luck charm for thirteen years. He has had it hanging on the rear-view mirror of four automobiles and, during the war, kept it in the socks of his Army uniform. - New Jersey paper
"We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."
"Free: farm kittens, ready to eat"
"Fireproof clothing factory burns to ground."
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2014 14:07:32 GMT
One I actually saw a long long time ago was a headline on an inside page article which read
Vicar refuses to marry his daughter
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 14:51:57 GMT
I spotted one, many years ago on our racing pages in the Daily Mail, before it got into print.
In an article about a well-known trainer, it read, " He has had his roots in Newmarket for forty years and in his wife for thirty"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2014 15:25:27 GMT
I spotted one, many years ago on our racing pages in the Daily Mail, before it got into print. In an article about a well-known trainer, it read, " He has had his roots in Newmarket for forty years and in his wife for thirty" I think the little worm in my brain might have been tempted to have let that one get into print!
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 15:56:26 GMT
Nah mate, morun my jobs wurf!
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Post by ARENA on Feb 24, 2014 15:57:02 GMT
Nah mate, morun my jobs wurf!
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Post by scorp on Feb 25, 2014 8:26:00 GMT
Pornographic films: Prime Minister to act...
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Prue
Silver Surfer
Posts: 157
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Post by Prue on Feb 25, 2014 10:17:59 GMT
Only heard about this one, not seen it myself, so I can't guarantee its verity. But if it's not real it should be:
BRITISH PUSH BOTTLES UP GERMANS
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Post by ARENA on Feb 25, 2014 11:43:18 GMT
One I liked was an ad placed by a hopeful US senator. It read..........
"You need a fiend in the senate".
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Post by scorp on Feb 28, 2014 15:30:03 GMT
Only heard about this one, not seen it myself, so I can't guarantee its verity. But if it's not real it should be: BRITISH PUSH BOTTLES UP GERMANS also MONTY FLIES BACK TO FRONT
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Post by ARENA on Feb 28, 2014 16:09:58 GMT
The Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offence.
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