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Post by jimshoo on Jan 7, 2014 12:49:09 GMT
Pat is up for murder. Judge:"You took a hammer and bludgeoned your mother-in-law to death"
Voice from back of court "Bastard!"
Judge:Silence. You are further charged that you took said hammer and killed your wife with it"
Voice from back of court "Dirty bastard!"
Judge "I told you to be quiet"
Voice from back of court "I'm sorry your highness but I'm his next door neighbour and I repeatedly asked to borrow his hammer but he said he hadn't one!"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2014 14:07:29 GMT
Love it!
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Post by jimshoo on Dec 11, 2015 11:55:44 GMT
Three Brits met in a bar in Majorca. Englishman: In the old Dog & Dustbin, back in Hanwell, if you buy a round of four or more drinks, the landlord gives you one free. Scotsman: In my local, if you order a whisky, your next one's a double at half price. Welshman; At the Tonypandy, your first drink is free. In fact all your drinks are free and at closing time you can go upstairs and have a shag. Englishman: Bet you go there a lot? Welshman: I've never been , it was my sister who told me.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2015 13:30:51 GMT
Love that one as well!
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Post by mickeymo1 on Dec 23, 2015 20:49:02 GMT
A woman said to her husband the postman is retiring after 30 years what shall we give him. The husband replied and then went off to work. When the postman arrived she took him in took him upstairs in the bedroom and gave him the best sex he had ever had.when he came down she cooked him a big breakfast at the side of the plate was a pound coin. What is this for he said? She replied when I asked my hubby what to give you he said fuck him give him a quid so I have. The breakfast was my idea.
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