Three Brits met in a bar in Majorca. Englishman: In the old Dog & Dustbin, back in Hanwell, if you buy a round of four or more drinks, the landlord gives you one free. Scotsman: In my local, if you order a whisky, your next one's a double at half price. Welshman; At the Tonypandy, your first drink is free. In fact all your drinks are free and at closing time you can go upstairs and have a shag. Englishman: Bet you go there a lot? Welshman: I've never been , it was my sister who told me.
A woman said to her husband the postman is retiring after 30 years what shall we give him. The husband replied and then went off to work. When the postman arrived she took him in took him upstairs in the bedroom and gave him the best sex he had ever had.when he came down she cooked him a big breakfast at the side of the plate was a pound coin. What is this for he said? She replied when I asked my hubby what to give you he said fuck him give him a quid so I have. The breakfast was my idea.