My friend Cuthbert

I have this little friend I've name Cuthbert, he's a wasp that for some reason decided he wanted a home so being lonely I took him in. I digress, I hate cleaning my grillpan, I put tin foil in it, to catch all the drips.

Is,  that a bit posh, or do you all do that to your grillpan too?

I cook with a gas cooker, so I don't mind when the electricity goes off.

Unless I'm watching my favourite telly prog, that I won't mention.

Also, I've noticed my pc, must run on leccy too, cos it goes off also?

They should make a conversion kit, so I can link it up to my gas bottle.



Look at all those nice neat lines, I have done whilst typing this little update.

Bugger, that last sentence went over the line a bit, that's rather annoying, and stuff.

Bloody hell, so did the last one? I'm losing my touch now..



Anyway, Cuthbert, is ready to hibernate for the Winter, I built him a wee box.

I think he likes it, but he doesn't know, I've linked it up with the doorbell.

So everytime someone rings, it will slightly electrocute him, and wake him up.

Sounds a bit evil, but he stung me on the nose, cos I squashed his girlfriend.

So it's my waspy revenge on him, little blighter.



I saw there was some news on the telly this morning. Very interesting.

Of course I've forgotten what it was, as my memory is really...

Fecking big moth flying around in here, much as I like them, it's not staying.



Did I ever tell you about Fred the Bat?



Someone squashed my banana, and won't own up to it.

What would you do, in my position?

I'm sitting down, at the moment, because I'm typing, and stuff.

When I was a kid, someone told me to grow up, and I did.



On a lighter note. It's getting darker at night, which means my Winter habit can restart.

I wear a torch on my head, it's even got a proper elastic headband.

Folk laugh at me, but I just wear it all the time, cos I never know, when it's going to get dark.



Have you seen the time?



Ok, I think I'll clean my dirty grillpan now, with some crispy bacon.

I'm glad I'm not being posh then, cos Beckhams scare me a bit.



They seem to delight in giving their kiddly winks, strange names?

If I have a kid, I'll call it Chlamydia, cos I think that's a stonking name.

Whatever happened to Hale, and Pace?



Christmas is round the corner, hope I take the right turn, and don't bump into Easter.

Though I do like a choccy egg, or two.. Love the Wispa bar also.



I've noticed it's been raining rather a lot here in the Midlands.

I blame Iceland for this, they have too many freezers, and if Mums are there all the time,

Then maybe that's where Mother Nature is, and not doing her job properly.

I thought wimmen could multi task?



It's a bit late in the year for tadpoles, but I thought I would give them a mention.

They have a hard life, starting off in a lump of jelly, then swimming around eating.

All they do is swim around, and eat, green stuff mostly, bit of a bugger if they are allergic to green stuff.

Then without warning, a back leg pops out, then another, soon followed by front ones.

Then their tail falls off.



Then, worst of all, they are frogs. I know frogs are cute, but would you want to be one?



I have very hairy toes, I like this, it means my feet are normally quite warm.

I have a theory about trees, I would like to share with you all.



Is it possible to be addicted to addiction?