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Post by jakeyj on Oct 15, 2013 20:33:01 GMT
A tourist sat in a Spanish resturant deciding what to eat. The waiter bought out a hot steaming dish of what looked like meatballs for the next table. The man ate it with every sign of enjoyment. "Hey waiter" the tourist said "that looks delicious I will have the same." " I am sorry sir we only make that dish once a day. It is made from the testicals of the bull killed in the bull fight in the arena. So the tourist orders it for the next day. When he came in he ate the dish and thoroughly enjoyed it . He called the waiter over and said" that was great but the meat balls the gentleman had yesterday were a lot bigger than mine" "Si Senor that is so, Sometimes the matador wins and sometimes the bull wins.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2013 14:39:49 GMT
During an interview for a job the candidate asks:
'Is this factory more than 500M from the nearest school?'
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Post by jimshoo on Oct 19, 2013 8:48:23 GMT
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. 'I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.' she says. 'Come again?' says the clerk, cupping his ear. 'No' she replies. 'This time it's mayonnaise.'
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Post by Deleted on Nov 27, 2013 11:58:01 GMT
A man in Blackburn woke up with a very severe bottom itch.
He went to his local corner shop and when the shop was quiet asked the shopkeeper.
'Does thee do arse cream?'
To which the shopkeeper replied
'Aye lad, does thee want a Magnum or a Cornetto?'
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Post by ARENA on Nov 28, 2013 10:24:57 GMT
I went to my first kick boxing class today.
In an effort to quit boxing for good this time.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2013 15:10:19 GMT
They don't seem to be getting any better...........
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Post by ARENA on Nov 28, 2013 15:41:54 GMT
A man in Blackburn woke up with a very severe bottom itch. He went to his local corner shop and when the shop was quiet asked the shopkeeper. 'Does thee do arse cream?' To which the shopkeeper replied 'Aye lad, does thee want a Magnum or a Cornetto?' no
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2013 16:08:10 GMT
Well, it made me smile when I first heard it
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Post by jimshoo on Nov 30, 2013 9:20:58 GMT
David Beckham was asked about his latest transfer. He replied, "It's not a transfer, it's a real tattoo."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2013 14:09:14 GMT
Just got my advent calendar from the Jehovahs Witnesses.
You open every door and it says 'Bugger Off'
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Post by jimshoo on Dec 8, 2013 14:09:04 GMT
What do a priest and a christmas tree have in common?
The balls are just for decoration ;D
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Post by brynmawr on Dec 8, 2013 23:40:29 GMT
What do a priest and a christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration ;D Hmmmm - I've met a few priests in my time and I'm not convinced :-)
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Post by jimshoo on Dec 14, 2013 10:52:39 GMT
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but you never see any.
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Post by ARENA on Dec 14, 2013 13:29:43 GMT
I always get my loved ones petrol-soaked fake moustaches for Christmas.
It’s such a joy to watch their faces light up!
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Post by penguin on Jan 14, 2014 16:35:15 GMT
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there is a dog.
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