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Post by rondetto on Aug 9, 2020 11:10:50 GMT
As I walked through the woods I came upon an oak that was laughing and shaking its branches.
I thought this was very strange so I asked it if it was okay.
"Never felt better" it said "I've just been told acorny joke"
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Post by althea on Aug 9, 2020 14:25:47 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Aug 10, 2020 11:23:47 GMT
I felt rather uncomfortable when I was sitting in my garden eating my lunch, earlier today when I felt I was being watched by my neighbours hen, which was sitting on the fence post, watching my every move.
It was a case of a chicken sees a salad.
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Post by ARENA on Aug 10, 2020 11:51:52 GMT
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye matey.
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Post by rondetto on Aug 10, 2020 16:29:06 GMT
A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup. She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Haven't you been examined like this before?" asks the doctor. "Many times," she giggles, "but never by doctor."
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 8:53:22 GMT
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:31:12 GMT
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:32:01 GMT
I don't mean to brag,but......I finished my 14 day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes!
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:32:33 GMT
Yes, the fridge light does go out when you close the door....NOW LET ME OUT OF HERE
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:33:00 GMT
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations, I'm pretty sure he was hitting on me.
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:33:33 GMT
Paddy said to Mick "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow". Mick said "I had that done when I was a few days old". "Paddy asked "did it hurt?". Mick answered "well I couldn't walk for about a year".
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Post by althea on Aug 11, 2020 10:34:18 GMT
The symphony orchestra had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The percussionist, realizing that the conductor had no idea what he was doing, angrily clashed the cymbals together during a delicate, soft passage. The music stopped. The conductor looked angrily around the orchestra, and demanded, "Who did that?"
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Post by rondetto on Aug 11, 2020 12:36:53 GMT
I went along to a Psychic for a reading yesterday. When I knocked on their door, they called out, "Who is it?", so I left.
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Post by rondetto on Aug 11, 2020 14:48:02 GMT
Most useless thing I bought last year - a 2020 year planner. Seems so useless now.
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Post by rondetto on Aug 12, 2020 9:50:34 GMT
A girl is doing a crossword puzzle...
"What's a 7-letter word for 'easily perceived or understood' that starts with 'O'?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"It should be, but I can't figure it out. That's why I'm asking."
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