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Post by rondetto on Jul 1, 2020 8:48:54 GMT
Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken.
She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office.
He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now...
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Post by rondetto on Jul 1, 2020 10:15:39 GMT
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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Post by rondetto on Jul 1, 2020 14:09:47 GMT
My diary has had some very interesting entries during Corona-virus. As a sportsman, many of my entries during the suspension of sports have been sport oriented...
For example, here is my entry for April 17, 2020: “Day 37 of no sports. Watching birds fight over worms. Sparrows lead the Blue Jays 3-1.”
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Post by althea on Jul 1, 2020 15:42:49 GMT
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Post by althea on Jul 1, 2020 15:43:57 GMT
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Post by althea on Jul 1, 2020 15:45:47 GMT
Bad impressionists don't get enough recognition.
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Post by althea on Jul 1, 2020 15:47:28 GMT
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Post by aubrey on Jul 1, 2020 18:13:32 GMT
Then he'll be able to play on early Fall records!
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Post by aubrey on Jul 1, 2020 18:14:08 GMT
Mountains are not just funny, they're hill areas.
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Post by aubrey on Jul 1, 2020 18:14:26 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jul 2, 2020 11:02:24 GMT
Donald Trump could easily make a living as a comedian.
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that can teach our children."
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes I may or may not have made."
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future."
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Post by rondetto on Jul 2, 2020 12:37:59 GMT
A group of youngsters were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."
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Post by althea on Jul 2, 2020 14:21:56 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jul 3, 2020 6:54:13 GMT
A woman from Newcastle was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her vicar to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.
She told the vicar she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Tesco's car park. 'Tesco?" the vicar said. 'Why Tesco?'
'That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week.'
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Post by aubrey on Jul 3, 2020 10:58:16 GMT
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