A woman from Newcastle was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her vicar to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.
She told the vicar she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Tesco's car park. 'Tesco?" the vicar said. 'Why Tesco?'
'That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week.'