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Post by rondetto on Jun 30, 2020 8:21:11 GMT
Monday: Gregg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Gregg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Gregg
Saturday: Ian
Sunday: Gregg
Just A week from the Gregorian Calendar.
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 9:57:43 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 9:58:11 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 9:59:22 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 10:00:11 GMT
What has four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler.
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Post by rondetto on Jun 30, 2020 13:49:55 GMT
It always irked my mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.
Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!
She was so excited, she bought two!
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 14:58:23 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 15:01:19 GMT
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Post by rondetto on Jun 30, 2020 16:55:14 GMT
In the men's room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: "Think!"
The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "Thoap!"
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 18:20:20 GMT
Grandpa was reminiscing about the good old days...
"When I were a lad, me mother would send me down to t'corner shop wi' a shilling, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer can't do that now.......too many security cameras."
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 18:29:21 GMT
...A man goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a tie to be allowed in.. So the man goes out to his car and he looks around for a tie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jump leads in his car boot. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 18:33:22 GMT
Violin Practice
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 18:37:13 GMT
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Post by althea on Jun 30, 2020 18:41:11 GMT
One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
'I'm sorry,' said the mayor, 'I must have taken Leif off my census.'
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2020 20:03:41 GMT
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