Help !! Doctor.

Morning Doctor! I've an ache in my belly,

I think it's the food my wife's cooked from the telly,

Telly? but how can that make you feel in a daze?

Well, there's so many programmes on cooking these days,

She watches them all, then tries the recipes out,

I'm just like a guinea pig, of that there's no doubt!

Well, get rid of the telly....and you're problem's all over,

I'd rather she stopped cooking and leave me in clover!

I'll give you some tablets, though they're not the cure,

Oh! I do hope they work, I can't take any more.

She burns all she makes, she's that flaming thick!

Well tell her to time things, that's the right trick!

Oh, she makes me feel ill with the slop she calls grub,

It wouldn't be so bad, but she's the chef in my pub!